Thursday, November 3, 2011

NO... I got hit BY a deer!!

In an event somewhat reminiscent of a particular episode of The Middle (see the video after the break), I was hit by a deer on my way home from work tonight.

Picture this: I'm cruising at a healthy, silent 21mph down the bike path that I take home every night. It splits off from the main road and runs a short way with the river on my left and a small stand of trees on my right before connecting to a bridge over the river. I was enjoying the cool night air while my bike's bright LED headlight cut through the spooky shadows from the overgrown trees when BLAMMO! A huge deer, probably 130 pounds bursts out of the trees on my right. It jumps right across my path, maybe two feet in front of my tire. Unfortunately, one of the first things I learned about deer when going through driver's education was that when you see one deer, you need to keep your eye out for more. I slammed on my brakes, but not soon enough. 

Another equally gargantuan deer was following close behind the first deer, beating it across the path as fast as it could. Given that it was a bit behind the first deer, I managed to make it a few more feet before it reached the middle of the path, causing it to SLAM into my right side. The best way that I can describe what happened next is that I and my whole bike bounced to the left, skidding to a stop after almost losing control. I was freaked out, thundering, afraid that the deer was going to turn and stomp me or something, so I tried out a war cry. Unfortunately, it came out as more of a wavering, sing-songy "WhoaaaaahhhheeeyyyyAAAHHH!!" Kind of like how you would imagine an eight-grade boy in the throes of puberty would sound when trying out vibrato for the first time. Not too intimidating. Unfazed, the deer barely stopped, simply hopping over my front wheel and charging into the watery brush at the edge of the river after its friend.

I paused. Did that really happen. As I looked after the deer, I heard a rustle in the brush behind me. 

Out of breath from pedaling with the throttle full-on the whole way home, I stepped inside my apartment. I called out, "Honey! I just got HIT BY A DEER!!"

"What?!?" she cried out, running into the kitchen. "You hit a deer??"

"No! I got hit BY a deer!"

Enjoy the video after the break.


Nicole said...

YES!! This might be my favorite post of yours....EVER.

Susan said...

NOT enough info, Justin! Are you OK???? You got hit BY a deer....I couldn't figure out whether or not I was crying or laughing when I watched the video....YOU got hit by a deer???

Rod said...

Am thinking it was an attempted deer-mugging gone bad. Or they were getting revenge for all those cars that hit their friends. Deer revenge. Pretty funny!

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