You see, my grandpa passed away this past spring. His cause of death was mostly complications due to multiple foci of metastatic cancer in his brain. Though dozens of tumors were also present in his chest and abdomen, the cause of death was the cancers spreading and swelling in his brain. With his death and funeral still fresh in my mind, it takes on a very different feel to be now learning about how cancers can move to and grow in the brain, the symptoms that they can cause, and what the brains of the deceased look like when riddled with cancer. When I'm presented with images like the one below, it's hard to not think of that brain as Grandpa's brain.
|This one is particularly rough for me - the caption read:|
"Coronal section showing multiple metastatic neoplasms at the junction of gray and white matter."
I'm still learning how to work through things like this without bringing up feelings of sadness and personal loss. I need to figure out how to study this without thinking about the fact that I can't talk to my grandpa on the phone anymore, how I can't ask him any more questions about my ancestors and where I come from. It has helped quite a bit to write these feeling out here; maybe it will be easier for me to move past them for a time. I never anticipated this blog as being something therapeutic in any way, but there it is. I suppose it's all part of this "Transformation," which in the whole purpose to the blog in the first place... Thanks for reading.