Tuesday, April 1, 2014

How Many Whopper Sandwiches Does It Take to Grow a Baby?

I needed a ten-minute study break, so with the help enablement of Google, a calculator, my love of Whoppers, and the inspiration of a cartoon owl from my childhood, I pondered the question:

How Many Whopper Sandwiches Does It Take to Grow A Baby?

  • Additional metabolic needs, averaged over pregnancy = 275 extra Calories/day
  • Average pregnancy duration, conception to birth = 283.4 days
  • Total Calories To Grow A Baby = 275 Calories/day * 283.4 days = 77,935 Calories
  • Calories in a Whopper Sandwich = 630 Calories

77,935 Calories to grow a baby / 630 Calories per Whopper = 123.7 Whoppers

What does this mean?

It takes 123.7 Whopper sandwiches to grow a baby.

For the classic McDonald's lovers out there, we can see that the unit conversion between Whoppers (630 Calories) and Big Macs (550 Calories) to be 550 / 630 = 0.873 Whoppers per Big Mac. Thus:

It takes 141.7 Big Macs to grow a baby.

If you prefer to eat chicken, and you cook it as healthily as possible, there's 306 Calories per pound of chicken.

This means it would take 77,935 / 306 = 254.7 pounds of chicken meat to grow a baby. According to the interwebs, chickens are about 60% non-organ meat by weight on average, and the average chicken weighs approx. 4lbs. Thus, if a mom-to-be killed all her own chickens and supplemented her diet with only their roasted muscle meats, she'd have to slaughter and chow down (254.7 * 0.60) / 4 = 38.2 chickens to grow a baby.

Finally, my original inspiration leads me to the question:

How many Tootsie Pops does it take to grow a baby?

Tootsie Pops have 60 Calories each. 77,935 Calories / 60 Calories tells us that:

It takes 1,298.9 Tootsie Pops to Grow a Baby Q.E.D.

Disclaimer: Please do not actually try to grow a baby using any of the above dietary plans. You and your baby will probably not be in that great shape at the end of the pregnancy. You might both be dead, so please don't do it. None of this should be in any way misconstrued as pregnancy planning advice for the real world. This is just the result of a random tangent I took thanks to Google's enablement and the power that comes from having the collective knowledge of humanity at my fingertips. To reiterate, please do not attempt to grow a baby by eating a diet consisting primarily of Whoppers, Big Macs, roasted chicken meats, or Tootsie Pops. 


1 comment:

peace said...

I can believe you used your break to calculate.
I hate math, I feel stressed reading this. I wonder what calculating it would do to me haha
Good luck with your study

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